The Potty Awards: A Grown-Ass Man’s Award Show for Harry Potter.

In the spirit of finishing the Harry Potter Heptalogy, it got me thinking about the books vs. the movies, and the differences between the two. And I also wanted to provide some sort of over-arching opinion on the series as a whole. So I figured I’d hand out some meaningless awards, since I still have some residual Oscar mojo surging through my system (Keaton was robbed).
I’ve got seven fake awards (for seven books) in three categories. All votes were submitted by, counted, recounted, and verified by the supreme ruler of the universe: Me. Without further ado, and any lame racial commentary jokes, here they are:
In the Books vs. Movies Category:
Worst Thing Left Out of the Movies
Winner: Grindelwald and Ariana Dumbledore (And the rest of Dumbledore’s interesting bits)
Man was there a lot to choose from for this category. From the expanded wizarding world in Goblet, to Hermione’s affinity for S.P.E.W., to any salient, interesting detail of Ginny and Harry’s relationship. The winner, however, is Grindelwald and Ariana Dumbledore, and any mention of the shortcomings of Albus Dumbledore. From his fallen sister, to his youthful desire to subjugate muggles for the Soviet-inspired “greater good”, none of it made into the films in any recognizable form. All those little facets of his character, revealed mostly in the last two books, were utterly omitted in the movies, and the result is an old, wise Dumbledore character that knows no faults, has no flaws, and then dies. Feel free to disagree with me, there’s potentially an ocean of nominees for this award, but in the end leaving out these details vastly impacted the depth of a key character.

Better in the Movies than the Books
Winner: Sirius Black
Don’t get me wrong, I love Sirius. His name alone is miles and miles of good clean pun (giggity). Gary Oldman did a glorious job (as usual) portraying Sirius as a wizened, somewhat tortured god-parent to Harry, providing support, information, and really awesome brooms. The academy (me) felt that the books made him come off as more petulant than wise, and self-destructively impatient post-Azkaban escape versus the tranquility we get from Oldman in the film adaptations. His evolution from bloodthirsty but relatable rogue in Prisoner of Azkaban to the whining home-body who lets his over-enthusiasm endanger himself, his god-son, and the entire Order on more than one occasion is not for the better. Almost every single character is better (to me) in the written version, except Mr. Sirius Black. If only he could’ve been more like Gary Oldman.

3) Most Convenient Plot Device
Winner: Fawkes the Phoenix
This award held true for both movies and books, so it’s lumped into this category. There were multiple nominations here too, from the Mandrake saplings (also featured in Chamber; you couldn’t throw a rock in that book without hitting a plot device), Polyjuice Potion, and Time-Turners to the more animate Thestrals, House-Elves, and Hippogriffs. Fawkes is pretty awesome, throughout the entire series, but the introduction is too ridiculous to not win here. Oh look, a Phoenix. And their tears heal wounds of the life-threatening variety. Oh, and they can also carry really heavy things, even though it’s a bird with supposedly hollow bones. It is a magic bird, so I digress. Later: Dude, we’re fighting this big snake that can kill you with its eyes and its venom. Man, I wish we had something that could just know it was needed, blind the snake, drop off a magic weapon that can kill it, heal the protagonist after he gets bitten by it, oh and also air-lift all three of us out when we’re done…well four counting the full-grown adult wizard that assaulted us. Wait, you’re telling me a Phoenix can do all of this? And it was revealed earlier in the text? Well sign me up, I want one. Yet still Fawkes manages to be a bad-ass. As convenient as it was, he blinds a gigantic snake. And his Phoenix song that saddens the entire hospital wing at the end of Half-Blood Prince might be one of the most chilling, saddening moments in the whole series, brought to you, fittingly, by its most convenient plot device.

In the Best of the Books Category:
Best Execution of a Literary Device
Winner: Multi-Volume Storylines (aka Meta-plots)
The one ultra-consistent part of JK Rowling’s story-crafting is the execution of her long-term character archs and storylines. The series-long character development of Snape, Dumbledore, and even Voldemort kept the reader engaged with the series as a whole. She has a talent for revealing just enough that you don’t feel cheated, and still leave enough detail to spread through all of the storyline. Every little bit you learned about Tom Riddle’s origins, Dumbledore’s mistakes, and Snape’s motivations revealed layer upon layer of the character, and made them feel whole and complete. They were all equally entertaining, compelling, and essential to the heart of the plot for each book and the series as a whole. Rowling had me reaching for the next book in the series as soon as I’d put down the one I’d just finished. On more than one occasion the individual books were overshadowed by the small part they played in the bigger production, and I don’t think it was detrimental to the impact of the series. These books should not be consumed individually, or even out of order. If you try that, much of the power would be lost.

(Not much to do with the award…but still awesome)

Worst Execution of a Literary Device
Winner: Accents
Oh holy mother of god the accents. I’d rather listen to hag nails on a chalkboard than read some of Rowling’s interpretation of stereotypical European dialects. It starts off bad enough with Hagrid speaking in a transcribed cottony flourish that is border-line incomprehensible. For me, at least, I think she may benefit from my pre- hearing Robbie Coltrane speak the part, making it sound sweeter and giving me a basis for the apostrophe-infested speeches I had to slug through. She does improve with the execution of this accent throughout the series, and by the finish it’s almost bearable. This improvement could also be attributed to a comparison with the crime scene that is the incorporation of the Russian and French accents of Fleur and Viktor. Dear lord, if these two ever had an extended conversation it’d be paragraphs of indecipherable gibberish I’d have to burn to get out of my brain. It was one of the most distracting and detracting parts of Goblet of Fire. It’s like having Boris from Rocky and Bulwinkle try to pull off being a smoldering teen idol, and hearing Bugs Bunny, pretending to be a French Victorian lady, telling Elmer Fudd, “Oh, ze rabbeett? ‘e vent zat avay.” In short: poor decision to transcribe the accents.

Best Book
Winner: Prisoner of Azkaban
Again, another category rife with controversy. A case can be made for just about every book in the series. I chose to go with the work in the series that set a more mature tone, and indicated a point where the writing started getting better, the meta-plots were taking shape, and the whole narrative got a little bit darker. We see the introduction of Azkaban, a prison facility for wizards patrolled (rather authoritatively) by demonic creatures called dementors. Werewolves are introduced, and they’re not all that bad (way better than Twilight). The Moony, Padfoot, Wormtail, and Prongs facet of the story is implemented, a nifty execution to reveal an important set of relationships in the rest of the storyline. For the first time, real fear is injected into the wizarding world, fear of an escaped psychopath named Sirius Black. This book wins the award for me because this is where I started to get hooked. Stone and Chamber are quaint little books, but they were a bit too infantile and fast for me. Prisoner introduced depth, darkness, and a more controlled pace, and was still edited enough not be 500+ pages. Your winner, Prisoner of Azkaban. Siriusly.

Best Translation from Book to Movie
Winner: Severus Snape/Alan Rickman
Essentially The Potty Awards Best Actor/Best Picture win in terms of prestige, I cannot say enough good things about the care and control exhibited by JK Rowling in creating this character. His arch, executed throughout the seven volumes, has him as an irredeemable villain, to an uncertain protagonistic force, and back. And on more than one occasion, multiple shifts take place in a single book. Even more so than the main storyline, this is the tale that captured most readers, and it came to a satisfying close in the least Hollywood style (with death). Alan Rickman was personally coached by Rowling in how to portray the character, and for good reason. This was her crowning achievement, the thing that will live on in the memories of every single person that read her books. Choosing Rickman for the role was borderline perfection, and his portrayal was so spot-on, the two have become intertwined for anyone that’s experienced both the books and the movies. One cannot read the Harry Potter books and not hear Rickman’s dramatic pauses in every line of dialogue, or picture his roman sneer down the steep angle of his nose every time he chastises a Potter potion. An off-stage unrequited love story, mixed with potent anti-heroism, angst, anger, brooding, and just the right amount of redemption sprinkled through, is the recipe for one of the mot memorable characters in modern literature and film, and the winner of the ultimate Potty award.

I enjoyed my time with Potter and the crew, and I’m glad I took the time to read all seven books. I can now argue, debate, and geek out with Harry Potter fans around the world. I have sipped the kool aid…and it was good.

Signing off.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: A Grown-Ass Man’s Book Review (Part 7)

And it’s over. Fini. Finale. Voldemort’s dead, Harry’s alive. Sadly some of the best characters didn’t make it (Did you really have to kill a Wesley twin?). The fast pace from the previous six works was ramped up in this volume, and it made perfect sense why they split this particular volume into two movies: A lot of shit happens. Our intrepid group of protagonists seem to traverse the globe as they chase down the Horcruxes.
A big win for Rowling as a writer I have to point out, as I’ve been rather critical of her spacing and execution of large scale action sequences, is the final scene, the battle for Hogwarts, with the brief pause in the middle and the climax, which I shall call Volde-Mort (get it?). It feels like she took more time to get the movement and flow of her description right. It is quite possibly the most important scene in the series, outside of the Snape reveal, and I must applaud the execution. The action was easy to follow, all from Harry’s third person point-of-view, and dramatic enough to feel grave yet frantic enough to be believable. And I also felt what we didn’t see, like the deaths of The Order members, gave a ring of realism to the events. In pitched conflict, you probably don’t see your friends fall, being too concerned with keeping yourself alive, as Harry was. It’s the aftermath, of finding them gone when the fighting’s finished, that stings the most. Magic-infused and fantastic as it was, the real raw emotion bled out in the description, and for that I must tip my cap to Madam Rowling.
The one weak point is the Hermione-Ron moment, where they finally declare their love for each other (about bloody time) after Ron expresses sympathy for House-Elves. Nice moment, should probably not have happened with the world falling down around them. Except Harry’s hurry up already commentary were priceless. Maybe I’d have done it that way just for the comedy.
The Deathly Hallows were an interesting addition that I think Rowling ran out of time to fully flesh-out. The Master of Death idea was intriguing, but in the end the whole thing kind of fell flat. Perhaps it didn’t need the full treatment of detail, not so much in the history but maybe in the functioning of the three pieces together, but if you name the book after them I feel like maybe you should delve in a bit more. I thought Harry would have to use all three in concert (In both the movie and the books) to beat the Dark Lord, but not really. Wasn’t my cup of tea. Sue me.
Some of the bits with the Hallows were neat-o, however. The idea that the Elder wand serves only the person who claimed it from the previous owner was a nice touch. Revealing Harry’s Cloak as special also helped answer some of issues with the idea of Invisibility Cloaks. He and his cohorts seemed to get away with a lot in that thing, and now I know why. The Resurrection stone…was blah. Convenient plot device for the ghosties to come visit Harry one last time. That’s not much of a resurrection. I could’ve done without it.

The angsty traipsing through the forests, the falling out, the falling back in, the brief conflict at the Malfoy Estate, and the death of Dobby (I loved that over-dressed elf) all moved very quickly and fluidly to the four big key moments we were all waiting for: The Snape Reveal, The Dumbleodre explanation, The Battle for Hogwarts, and the Volde-Mort. All four were well worth the build-up, the three meta-plot pieces in particular did not disappoint. Of course the one I enjoyed most was the Snape (Always…even I got a little misty for that one), but I found myself even more looking forward to the Dumbledore moments. His was a much fuller story in the books, and because I hadn’t seen it in the movies I didn’t know what was coming. The guilt over his sister, the Grindelwald angle, it all made me like him so much more as a literary figure, and dislike his portrayal in the movies.
And now…the Snape. I knew it was coming and still this gave me shivers. Throughout the entirety of the ~4000 page of prose that makes up the Harry Potter Heptalogy (Holy Greek Aliteration Batman!), the meta-plot arch and development of Severrus Snape’s character is her greatest lliterary triumph. As a big, big fan of licensed fiction (Star Wars, Warhammer, you name it) I’ve seen my share of character development through a long series, and I must say I’ve never seen it done better than Snape. And that includes Game of Thrones, to put it in a more contemporary light. To make a reader, especially one with prior knowledge (like me) thanks to the theatrical adaptation, still so invested in every twist and turn of the journey, the details left out and revealed later, or never revealed at all, was nothing short of masterful. He lapped Sirius for title of My favorite Character a few volumes ago (Sirius, incidentally, was whinier and bitchier in the books, and also less Gary Oldman, while Snape was 100% Alan Rickman) and must hold a special place in the hearts of every man, woman, and child that reads these books.

My overall reaction to the whole Harry Potter series is a positive one. While far from perfect, I’m glad I got over my youthful hard-headedness that made me think I was above these books. They’re good, fun little reads that ate up some serious time on metro rides to and from work. Even before I read them, when I was still very Anti-Potter, I had to admit these books had a real magic even a non-believer couldn’t deny. They had the magical gift of making people want to read like nothing I’ve ever seen. I was amazed at the enthralled masses desire to consume this book, filled with tawdry, somewhat childish prose (at least in the opening volumes) and I couldn’t imagine the appeal. I knew then I’d read better books, and I definitely have read better. But the real glory of what Rowling did, besides make herself a pile of money, is make people want to read that might not have ever picked up a book otherwise. That was the real magic in these books, not the Expelliarmus, or the Accio, or any charms Hermione could master. These books had people reading in droves, and as an aspiring author, I have to admire, and on some level thank JK Rowling for this glorious creation. Especially considering the current literary fads involve Vampires (the not-fun kind, with glitter and emotions) and BDSM. All in all, I’ll take Harry Potter any day.

2015 Banned Books Challenge

Harry Potter and The Half-Blood Prince: A Grown-Ass Man’s Book Review (Part 6)

Oh Snape. You little devil, you.

We’re back again, with probably the most serious (not Sirius; he’s dead) installment so far. Thanks in-part to the introduction of some romantic entanglements of a more intense nature than the high school prom daliances from Goblet of Fire. It opens rather enjoyably with extra involvement from Dumbledore in Harry’s life. Less enigmatic than usual, Dumbledore is downright fatherly to Harry in this volume. He gives private lessons, takes Harry on recruiting trips, and speaks in more of a frank, direct manner than in any other book. And of course (spoiler alert) he dies.

This one’s easily the most grown-up, in terms of subject matter and the feels, than any volume in the series so far. Harry gets with Ginny (swoon) and that romance got almost no treatment in the movies, which is a shame. We start to see the ceaseless arguments between Hermione and Ron start to take on a more hormonal turn, and Rowling even delves into the world of adolescent relationships, jealousy, and heartbreak. And manages to do it all in a fairly even, un-annoying manner that had a grown-ass man buying into it.

Minus the feels, this volume was a little less…robust than some of the others. And maybe not in a bad way. It’s definitely getting dark in the wizarding world, potentially the darkest of any of the volumes since the good side wins in the next one. Outside of Dumbledore’s death, which didn’t strike me as all that tragic, we also get the revelation of the Horcruxes, and what they are. I found this particular bit of magic to be interesting, and one of the more nuanced treatments of the Dark Arts that Rowling introduces into the storyline. Apparently murdering someone allows you to split your soul into another object. Who knew. I could’ve done with some more details in this department, but I’m a nerd and always want more specifics (Why does murder let you split your soul? What does that entail? What’s it look like?). Again, hopeless nerd, and magic by definition defies description. It was dark, scary interesting, and an interesting addition to the meta-plot. Go Rowling.

Where I must take some points away is the handling of “the prophecy” in this volume. This particular point is a bit perplexing and confusing if you prod it with an intellectual stick and look beneath the surface. Madame Nostradam- I mean Trelawney apparently got her job trough a chance prophesy she made about a boy born near the end of July whose fate would be intertwined with the Dark Lord. Through a rather confounding process of explanation, apparently Voldemort chose Harry over Neville, and somehow fulfilled the prophesy. Could’ve been Harry or Neville, it was all up to Voldemort. Don’t make the mistake I did and think about it too much. Doesn’t stand up to scrutiny.

Getting a look at Tom Riddle’s past, and some of the motivations that made him into a monster, was a somewhat-overlooked key to this book. I thoroughly enjoyed Rowling’s handling of this key exposition through the Harry-Dumbledore interaction. From his twisted family history, his relationship with the Slytherin bloodline, and early forays into psychopathy and sociopathy. His early silver-tongue, his influence over Slughorn and the other teachers, it all makes the faceless evil Voldemort/Riddle was turn into something much more sinister. I have t hand it to Rowling, she has a knack for creating villainy and evil in a meta-plot you have to admire. Voldemort and Snape both are masterfully developed through the seven-volume series, and are quickly becoming some of my  favorite villains in any book series. Snape was already there (Mostly because Alan Rickman is…the man) but Rowling’s skill with long-term character development is something she relied on in all of her works…and with good reason. It more than supplements anything she may lack in the action writing department.

And now…Snape and Dumbledore. As big of a deal as everyone made about Dumbledore dying, and how the entire nation (it seemed) was in mourning for the character. That was my impression, but I was a freshman in college when it was released. I had other concerns. I found this scene to be a bit anti-climactic. Probably because it was an action sequence involving more than two characters, which seems to be her Achilles heel as a writer. The draw-down with Draco was suspenseful enough, but when the second and third Death Eaters arrive, it all goes ploin-shaped. Perhaps everyone was so focused on the event of the death they missed the  lack of drama in the lead-up. Oh well. We’ve seen before I am a nit-picker.

Overall…a good addition. I always like when the bad guys come out on top. The Swerve from Snape, after feeling a bit sorry for him in Order of the Phoenix, was delicious, if a bit sloppily executed. The relationship messes, and the thank-god-finally moment when Ginny and Harry get to the snogging. And the amusement of Ron and Hermione arguing, then not speaking when Ron begins entangling himself in Lavender.The relationship-pieces were probably my favorite part of this book…that and the Snape.

Not my favorite, but not my least favorite. I’d say #3 behind Prisoner and Order.

Time to get down with The Deathly Hallows.

Signing off.

2015 Banned Books Challenge

Harry Potter and The Order of the Phoenix: A Grown-Ass Man’s Book Review (Part 5)

Holy hell in a hand basket. We done come off the rails for this one.
In the longest installment of the Harry Potter series, we find Harry and the gang back at it, in a full 760 pages of magical mayhem. This book, however, felt shorter than the last one (although Time assures it wasn’t). Goblet of fire was a little too teenage-romance for me, although the introduction to the larger wizarding world was a welcome ingredient halfway through the series. A little less open but much more entertaining, Order of the Phoenix packs plenty of insanity, and keeps a better pace than its predecessor as well, despite the longer page count.
First, the angst. Oh in this volume Harry is the angstiest angster who ever had angst. Everyone thinks he’s nuts. And a liar. He saves his cousin’s life only to be (almost) expelled for his trouble. His friend’s doubt him. Dumbledore ignores him. And he gets extra lessons with Snape (that would brighten most people’s day…but not Harry’s). Rowling lets him get a little more human in this one, although he had his emo moments in earlier entries. They felt barely justified previously, but he gets the shit end in Order and Rowling very much lets it affect him. He yells at his friends, runs his mouth to his teachers, and even fantasizes about hitting Dumbledore. We find out this is sort of because Voldemort possessed him, but I don’t buy it. Harry’s a whiny little bitch (most of the time). The inclusion of Harry’s instructor-type role with the DA lightened some of the heavy load Rowling heaped upon her poor protagonist, and I found this to be a very cool, captivating, and well-executed facet of the story. It feels like occasionally she tries too hard to make Harry beaten down by life’s events, so it’s nice to see some of his tribulations pay off in admiration from his fellow students, even when he’s at his lowest point.
Second, the Evil. There is a lot of evil in this story, most of it centered around the lovely Dolores Umbridge (Sometimes Rowling’s naming is a little too cutesy for me…but this one always makes me smile). Rowling must have had a nasty experience with a female school administrator at some point in her life, because she nails this character. From the irritating cough, to the fake simpering, to the smiling while having underage children scrimshaw the backs of their hands as punishment for minor infractions. By the end of the story, I thought to myself, oh thank God it’s Voldemort. He’s way less scary. And I’m sure I wasn’t the only one.
I think this installment pulled me back in because Rowling went back to her strength: the characters. There was no big event, like the Tri-Wizard tournament, that was the focal point for this book. It was all about watching the characters driving the plot. I’ve been told by several reliable sources that Order tends to be the where most readers start hitting the Harry Potter fatigue point, but the opposite was true for me. After Goblet I was feeling a little bogged down, even after it started so well, and this volume re-energized me, especially the last 100 pages or so.
In a very brief stretch of time, both in the story and in page count, several very important and captivating events occur: The prophesy, the ministry fight, the death of Sirius, Dumbledore vs. Voldemort, and pre-empting all of it, some justification for some of Snape’s brooding angers, and a glimpse revealing Harry’s pop as a bit of a prick, and Sirius equally prickish by association. Rowling weaves all these events together, and sets up probably the most exciting and satisfying climax to any Potterverse book yet. This more than anything made me forget the preceding 600 pages, because the pay-off made slogging through them worth it.
My bone to pick with this volume is the blocking and execution of one piece of this climax: the fight at the Ministry. I’ve seen Rowling improve her description and spacing of action sequences dramatically throughout the stretch of volumes up to this one, mainly in smaller, one-on-one situations. I’m far from an expert but I do read a lot of war-based fiction, both science and not-science, where action sequences are key to the plot and the appeal, and perhaps that makes me a purist. Oh well. It’s my bone and I’m picking it.
She makes a valiant effort at keeping the point-of-view focused on Harry, and what he can see of the action, and the frenetic pace she sets fits the adrenaline-fueled aspects of the scene. She goes a bit too far in some instances, particularly when Harry is pursued by the Death Eaters, that the action is difficult to follow. Hermione teleports a few times (and not on purpose). Neville pops out of nowhere (Also not on purpose). The whole scene confounded me. And then the large-scale wizard fight, which was a big missed opportunity, felt disjointed and campy. Wizards from both sides kept falling, but you never knew how. Or what happened to whichever other wizard felled them. You couldn’t keep track of anyone. The whole time I kept seeing Death Eaters go down, but no one could help Tonks or Sirius? Supposedly the Order was outnumbered, but where were the two-on-one conflicts? Just exactly how many Death Eaters were there? Did we keep the number vague so the resolution could be cleaner? Dumbledore came in and tied a nice bow in everything by apparently capturing the baddies, but not before Sirius “passed beyond the veil” (Bit too on the nose there, Ms. Rowling). Which of course made angsty Harry all the angstier.
This cornucopia of cluster-fuckery was saved, however, by the epic battle between Dumbledore and Voldemort. Here, Rowling shined. In a well-paced, one-on-one fight between the two most powerful wizards we ever meet, the battle did not disappoint, from Dumbledore’s calm, effortless maneuvers to the intensity of the Dark Lord’s attacks, I had no trouble following their movement. For the first time, I can say I preferred one of Rowling’s written descriptions of a conflict to what I saw in the movies. It was brief, intense, quiet (No trash talking, just wizarding. Straight up, yo) and wholly satisfying.
My nit-picking of the fight scenes aside, I enjoyed Order of the Phoenix immensely. The characters were back at the forefront, as I’d mentioned before: Sirius plays a more prominent role, Lupin’s back, as well as Moody (the real one this time), the Weasley family is delightfully dysfunctional, with the disowning of Percy, the drop-out twins Fred and George, and Ginny growing up. Harry dabbles in romance, with predictably disastrous results (pile on the angst), Ron becomes a quidditch hero (shortly after becoming a quidditch zero), and Hermione’s streak of awesomeness continues (Who’s idea was the DA? That’s right, it was hers). We meet Kreacher the evil elf, Bellatrix LeStrange the insane-in-the-membrane kin- killer, and of course Dolores Umbridge, who brings a whole new kind of kitten-cuddling, tea-sipping evil to the franchise, and frankly makes everyone miss the Death Eaters for most of the prose.
And Snape. Perhaps Rowling’s crowning achievement of the whole storyline so far is the development and execution of this character through this side-piece of the meta-plot. She created this evil, dark, almost-irredeemable semi-antagonist, and through just the right amount of revelation, made him one of the most revered characters in modern literature. Her choice of Alan… …Rickman… was perfect, and the control she requested on advising him how to play the character in the movies is justified. This character, more than any other, translated to the screen with as much impact as he had on the page. Finally seeing some explanation for his vehement hatred and brooding personality makes us feel the glimmer of a connection with Snape, now somewhat a victim and less of a perpetrator. Because I watched the movies and ruined it, I know what’s coming in Half-Blood Prince, so I can see the swerve back coming, and then what ultimately happens in the final volume. Regrettably, I don’t have any of the anticipation or wonder about what Snape really is, but it speaks volumes to Rowling’s execution that I still look forward to Snape’s storyline almost more than Harry’s.

Order of the Phoenix did not supplant Prisoner as my favorite volume to date, but it did cure my HP fatigue. The meta-plot(s) have me hooked, and as I write this I’m already halfway through the next installment.
Lord, I’m drinking the kool-aid. And I don’t care. Because it’s delicious.
Signing Off.

2015 Banned Books Challenge

Harry Potter and The Goblet of Fire: A Grown-Ass Man’s Book Review (Part 4)

Annnnnnnnd I’m back. This book took a little longer to hack through. Mostly because if you put the first three books together, they might be as long as this one. Might. I could do the math…but I don’t want to. I didn’t start a blog to do book reviews so I could do addition. That is nonsense. Anyway, this book is 600 or so pages. And it can drag a little bit in parts…but this is the first book where the nerd can really come out and flourish in the Wizarding World.

The first three books are very Hogwarts-centric, outside of the Azkaban mentions. Whether intentional or not you’re given very little real direction about how the Wizarding World works (point for alliteration). On a few occasions the world will open up a bit, but everything is centered around the characters at Hogwarts (as it should be) and a nerd like me wants to see more of how they fit into the universe the author created. This is the first time that Rowling opens up the world a bit more…and I can’t lie I got a bit of nerd wood. Also there’s intrigue, interrogations, internal struggle, and shape-shifting. Betrayal and subterfuge abounds. If Harry Potter has an Empire Strikes Back volume, it’s definitely Goblet of Fire. At least the last 60 pages or so. Empire is definitely the best Star Wars movie, and if you disagree you should take whatever device you’re reading this on…tablet, phone, or laptop…and smack yourself in the head with it. I don’t feel quite as strongy about Goblet, and I don’t know if it has unseated Prisoner as the fave, but its definitely second if not first. I like it when evil (sort of) wins.

You find out that witches and wizards are everywhere, not just in Merry Old England, which was kind of implied in the first three. You see contingent from Bulgaria, Ireland, even the good ol’ USA. There’s an in-depth look at a French school, and a deliciously evil Bulgarian one, during the oh-so-plotty Triwizard Tournament. As the series progresses Rowling gets better and better at her craft…but lord, having a French and vaguely Soviet school was apparently a invitation for her to inflict dialogue on us. Every time Viktor Krumm and Fleur spoke, nails screeched against a chalkboard inside my brain, and my eyes wanted to crawl out of their sockets. Yes, it was really that bad. Viktor sounded like a love-sick teenage version of Boris and/or Natasha. Fleur left out so many consonants I thought she might have been having a seizure. I prayed for the return of Hagrid’s stilted dialogue. Thank god they’re only in one book.

I may have gotten a little off the rails there. That’s really the only issue I had with this particular installment of the Harry Potter tales. Besides the expounding on the Harry Potter universe, the plot was even twistier this time around and we got more subtle reveal of the meta-plot. Also, Voldemort came back. Shit got real, real fast. In a scene that could have gone very wrong very easily, Rowling handles the big reveal in a very efficient, if mildly melodramatic fashion.

Rowling, aside from the dialogue, is definitely growing as a writer. The pacing isn’t as frenetic and fast here as in the first three (Maybe that’s why it took 600 pages to tell the story). And while it is longer, and some of the Triwizard side-plots could’ve been truncated a bit (the movie definitely made some strategic cuts without losing any of the movement), the length wasn’t too much of a drag on the reader. I found this installment relied lot more on the story and the action to move the plot versus relying on the characters to speed things along, like the first three books. The new additions to the line-up are not as fleshed out or enjoyable as the folks from the first three volumes, but I feel like that’s ok. Invest me in any more characters, and the book you’ll have to write will double as a brake-brace. For tractor trailers.

Fleur, Krumm, Madame Maxine, even Mad-Eye moody, portrayed so memorably by Brendan Gleeson in the movies, was a bit forgettable. Maybe that’s because he wasn’t exactly himself. The story is what mattered in this volume, and it was a nice change. All the old favorites were still around. The budding teenage romance angle, which managed to involve Krumm Fleur, Ron, Hermione, and Harry, is enough to make an almost-30-year-old laugh. Same with the awkwardness surrounding the school dance. The slimy reporter archetype of Rita Skeeter has an appropriate ending. The old favorites of Dumbledore, McGonagall, and Hagrid the Horrible-Speaker are still keeping everybody in line, and good olde Snape is still…haunting…the…grounds…in typical Alan Rickman-style. Which is smooth…and Snapey. We get more of his dark story as well…a Death Eater turned agent of good…or is he? Rowling’s use of meta-plot grows in this volume as well, and remains one of her strengths as a writer.

In summation: another good read. Not as fast, or as easy to get through, but still enjoyable. The characters are still good, even if the new ones aren’t developed as well. The story-driven aspect makes it seem a little less childish and a bit more serious, as it should since the subject matter is getting darker. Maybe not the best of the four I’ve read…but definitely a contender. Especially since it delves into nerd-indulgence and gives you the full monty of the Wizarding World.

And now I’m through the halfway marker. No turning back.

Signing off.

2015 Banned Books Challenge

Harry Potter and The Prisoner of Azkaban: A Grown-Ass Man’s Book Review (Part 3)

In prisoner of Azkaban, things start to get Sirius (never gets old). Rowling ambitiously tackles everything from time travel and teen angst to lycanthropy and shapeshifting in this one, as well as more gradual revelation about Potter’s past. Does she bite off a bit more than she’s ready to chew? Maybe. The speed of the story still pulls you in and you are 100% invested in all of the characters by this point, so you have to know what happens to them, and the pages keep turning.

Definitely the most action-packed book so far, Rowling still keeps the child-like voice and approach consistent. As the story gets darker and a bit more mature, her reliance on basic voice and lack of subtlety in some cases is glaringly apparent and a bit distracting. There’s still a lot of her telling us Harry, Ron, or Hermione is scared rather than showing us through the text. She does a masterful job with portraying the gradual maturity of her young characters, however. Hermione’s rebellion against a teacher, the lover’s quarrel between her and Ron (Oh yeah, you know those two are gonna shag at some point), Harry’s running away from the Dursley’s, all of this paints a picture of the hormonal teenagers our little young wizards are growing into without telling us that they look or feel older.

The fast pace she establishes in all her books does work against her in a few places as the frenetic pace detracts from some of the more complex action descriptions. Particularly the confrontational scene between Black, Lupin, The Trinity (Ron, Herm, Harry), Snape, and Pettigrew got a bit out of control as I read it. There’s too much simultaneous action without enough pause for explanation, and not enough control over the speed of the story. As this is by far the turning point in the narrative, I had to use my memory form the movie to get me through the blocking of the conflict.

Where Rowling improves leaps and bounds here is subtle additions to the meta-plot and the inclusion of small, interesting, and frankly very cool ways of revealing them. The Moony, Padfoot, Wormtail, and Prongs side-plot was well-conceived and well-executed (until the big reveal). The Marauder’s Map could have been a Deus Ex type magicky item, like the phoenix, but in book three she’s a bit more subtle about its application. And it even gets confiscated when Harry gets distracted. It’s a convenient plot device but less blatant, and furthers along an intriguing aspect of the meta-plot.

The characters, once again, were the strength of this book. Rowling has a penchant for creating characters that captivate the reader and fit smoothly into the story. First, Remus Lupin, who may be my favorite character in the books, serves as a semi-fatherly figure for Harry, and turns out to play an intricate role in Harry’s past. He’s sharp, observant, somewhat tortured, and throughout the narrative a very well-rounded addition. Also he’s a werewolf. And werewolves are awesome. His name however, gives away this fact well before the prose does. Naming him Wolfy McWolferson would have been only slightly less subtle, but as this book was aimed at a younger audience that probably wouldn’t know nuances of Roman Mythology and Romance languages, I can’t complain too loudly. Just quietly.

And then there’s Sirius Black, who’s easily my favorite character in the movies and may overtake McWolferson in the books given time. While the confounding conflict scene beneath the whomping willow is a bit hard to follow, the way Black transforms from arch-villain to hero is captivating. He isn’t in the book for very long, but his shadow spreads from page one to the finale and the revelation of the man himself does not disappoint. He’s sinister, angry, and yet his motivations are believable and his shift well-executed. And his name has given rise to a bevy of glorious internet memes and one-liner blog jokes. Siriusly.

We also see more mystery from Dumbledore, some refreshingly ragged emotional displays from Hermione, and Snape’s story, which is even more intriguing than Sirius Black’s, starts to take some shape in Prisoner. Snape may be one of the most carefully crafted characters (10 points for alliteration) in any literary series, and to see his story start to take shape, even though I know where its going thanks to the movies, is captivating. And still Alan… … …Rickman reads all his diaogue… … …in… … … my head.  Makes me want to dive into book four.

My favorite book so far, I think Rowling has a handle on her bread and butter in volume three: fast pace and irresistible characters. Some problematic action sequences don’t distract too much from the overall joy one gets from reading it, and the pages kept turning. Can’t wait to get into book 4.

Signing off.

2015 Banned Books Challenge

Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets: A Grown-Ass Man’s Book Review (Part 2)

Round 2, and everyone’s favorite underage wizards are back. I won’t bore you too much with plot analysis and dissection. If you’re reading this, you probably already know what happens. I’ll be reviewing the books as a series, so there will be a lot of comparison between them from here on out. And also the movies will be compared and contrasted on occasion…because it’s impossible to ignore them. So here we go:

This volume feels a little more mature. A lot of my friends told me you can see Rowling develop as she moves from book to book, and it’s…sort of present here. She dabbles a bit more in subtlety and side-plot. I particularly enjoyed the Ginny-Harry interactions, where Harry gets teased about his red-headed admirer by…well just about everybody. Through both books I feel like Harry comes off as a bit more human, with faults and foibles, more so than in the movies. I don’t know if it’s Radcliffe’s fault or something else, but the way you see Harry in the movies, he’s always a bit too removed, a bit too aloof for me. Doesn’t feel as real as he does in the books. The quality of the prose, however, doesn’t make the leap I was expecting. Chamber still feels very whimsical and wide-eyed. And like the first book, Rowling relies on telling over showing to translate her characters emotions and reactions to the reader. This also enhances the childish feel of the book, but also serves to move the pace along. The first two books can probably be tackled in one afternoon-evening, and you would not feel dragged down. I personally devoured both on the DC Metro on the way to work, and they made the 40-minute commute disappear. I always felt disappointed when I had to stop and put the book down (possibly because I had to then slog through a sea of humanity into sub-freezing temperatures…to go to work). And if I come off as complaining about the way Rowling writes don’t mistake me; I enjoy her writing and everyone should. Just trying to dissect like an editor. And she is masterful with building momentum. Both books were like roller coasters you didn’t want to ever end. The stakes are a bit higher throughout this volume, with underage grand theft auto and destruction of property playing a key role in the storyline. And there are some very dark moments that pulled me out of the child whimsy and tingled my spine. The death-day party was downright depressing, and the cliquey nature of the Headless Hunt injected a macabre kind of sadness into the text. The most didactic of the dark elements had to be the dialogue for the unseen Basilisk. The soft, short, serrated introductions of menacing ideas like ripping, killing, bleeding by an unseen force unexpectedly grab a reader and shake them. Weren’t we talking about Hufflepuffs, Whizzbangs, and Quidditch Snitches like 2 pages ago? This is the first time I really felt the darkness of the Dark Arts that came off as a bit campy in Book 1. Rowling handles the flashback aspects a bit cheesily; I disliked the comparison she makes to a television when describing Harry reading the Riddle diary, and I had to rely on my memory of watching the movie to manage my way through it. These can be difficult to tackle as a writer, and I’ve definitely seen it botched worse in some trashy sci-fi/fantasy novels (The word poof followed by italicized writing does not constitute a transition…oy.). The pacing and description of the action sequences, particularly at the climax, are much easier to follow and more fleshed out in book two. You can’t help but imagine the movie scenes during Harry’s final encounters with the big baddies, but in Chamber I could follow the action more fluidly. While I’m on the climax (giggity), much like in the movie, as cool as a phoenix named Fawkes is, it’s a big ol’ elephant of a Deus Ex Machina that’s hard to ignore. Thank God that bird is stronger than it looks. And can feel loyalty. And happens to have magic healing tears. Makes me want to write a spoof where a wondrous creature called the Plot Device always happens to have the right supernatural gift to right every wrong in the story. But I digress. The strength of this book, and I’m guessing the whole series, is the characters. I wish I could separate them from the incredible portrayals by the actors in the movies…but I can’t. So I won’t even try. Snape is his usual unlikable self in the most amazing way. And Alan Rickman reads all of his dialogue… … … slowly. Ron and Hermione are delightful sidekicks; and Hagrid(in spite of his dialogue) is lovable like a giant teddy bear. The teachers as ever prove pleasantly one-dimensional, but we do get another, deeper glimpse into the darker, all-knowing side of Albus Dumbledore. He is an…interesting character. Enigmatic to the reader but I feel like this is intentional, and enhances his mystery. And good ol’ GIlderoy Lockheart (cue the swooning) was delightfully the lighter side of evil in Chamber, and was enjoyable all the way through. I don’t know that anyone outside of Kenneth Branagh could have done him justice. Maybe Armie Hammer, but he’s not blonde. As a whole, Chamber is just as enjoyable as the first Potter book, and moves you through at such a breakneck speed you miss any small issues with the prose on your manic journey to devour the story and move on to the next one. Next, we get Sirius (ha) but for now…signing off.

Banned Books Challenge 2015

Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone: A Grown-Ass Man’s Book Review (Part 1)

Years ago, when I was but a young lad of 15 or so, I turned my nose up at the Harry Potter series. Sure, I went and watched the movies. They were entertaining, pulse-pounding, and full of captivating special effects and British accents. And also Alan Rickman. But the books? Bah. I was reading Lord of the Rings, tales of King Arthur, The Sword of Shannara, all the respectable magical literature. Didn’t have time for anything as childish as Harry Potter. It was beneath me.

Now here I am, 15 years older, debatably wiser, and diving into literature aimed at tweenagers with a relish that is nothing short of embarrassing. And here I will share my findings and reactions in a (somewhat) serious manner as a grown-ass man reading these children’s books…for the first time. Not to be confused with the gentleman from buzzfeed who recently did the same experiment with the movies. I’m half as funny, and make none of the money.

Firstly, the name. I’m a bit ashamed of America that we were dubbed incapable of realizing the mystical connotations of the Philosopher’s Stone to the point that scholastic made the decisions to change the title (and any mention of Philosopher) in the book and subsequently the movie. Apparently, the old, doting image that a Philosopher conjured up in the US psyche wasn’t exciting enough, therefore the sexier, sassier “Sorcerer” was a better choice. Lame, America. Very lame.

But after I got over the title, the book is actually quite good. I won’t belabor the plot, you probably know it already. Rowling has an affinity for capturing a feeling of youthful awe with the combination of silly names and lack of introspection in the characters. In a way, it echoes Gaiman, who got his start with children books. They leave a little bit of the serious out, but instead of being annoying it actually enhances some of the wide-eyed wonderment, and holds it through the entirety of the prose. It gives a bare-boned feeling to the book but also moves the story along very quickly.

It may have been fun to imagine the characters as Rowling describes them, but my mind was polluted by the movies. Every line Snape has in the book is dragged out, Rickman-style, as I read. When Hermione gets prissy, it’s Emma Watson’s voice in my brain. This does however manage to stave off some of the irritation the stilted Hagrid dialogue creates, as I just imagine Robbie Coltrane talking. The decision to translate that accent was one of the few stylistic mistakes she makes. And man is it a mistake. Like nails on a chalkboard. Except with words.

At the end of the book, you feel good. Like you took a 200-page vacation back to your childhood. Its a little nerdy, and yes a bit childish at times, but that’s part of the appeal. It doesn’t stretch your brain, it lets it relax. Great start to a great series, if a bit fast and underdeveloped in places. I say bring on the next one. And the one after that.

And yes, that’s a grown-ass man saying bring on the Harry Potter.

Signing off.

Banned Books Challenge 2015